alrightyyy

So life is beginning to settle down a lil bit. After the fiasco with my tattoo and stuff. My mom still isn't talkin to me but thankfully my dad is. There has been so much stuff goin on more than just the issue of me gettin a tattoo its been so stressful. Ive been takin it day by day and things are gettin better, through the grace of God. I'm workin on talkin to my parents about stuff but its still really hard to talk to them because I am afraid to have different view from them because they are so strict on their views and such. But I'm realizing that they aren't God and I do have to respect them because they are my parents and I am living under their roof but in the end I will have to answer to God for my actions. The biggest thing I've learned through this is that God still loves me and I'm not any less of a person because I got a tattoo. I know God is goin to see me through this so I'm not stressing anymore.

On a different note... I have less than a month left of my 6 month no dating thing, lol. But even though I'll be able to date, I don't know if I'll want to. I'm still pretty hurt from the crap from Pete and I also don't want to deal with the drama, lol. I've learned some things and I don't want to just date because I can. I can be happy without a guy by my side.

So I've been talkin with my ex again and things are goin good. NO I'm not sayin that were gettin back together but we can talk about stuff and it's really good. We've both agreed that we do want to be friends but as far as anything more it has to be abundantly clear from God that that is the best and right decision for both of us. I dont regret that we broke up at all. I think it was very necessary. I really do think God did a work in my life and as well as in his. I'm really glad were friends again :) I've missed him and didn't realize how much I did until I started talkin to him again.

I'm so glad I blog. I love it SO much! lol I forget how much I like to blog. It really helps me think through things and calm down every now and then. I think I should really try to blog each day that way life goes smoothly or atleast seem like it cause I don't have to think about everything so much because its down on paper... or typed on my blog ;)

WTF!?

My boss is an freakin PUNK! I swear! We just hired a new guy who wants to work alot cause he doesnt have anything else to do. I have school every morning and its FREAKIN SUMMERRR! Ive spent one day at my pool. ONE! Im sorry I am So DAMN PISSED! If I try to ask off early or just for my EFFING birthday he throws a freakin fit! Im so sick of workin its not even funny! Good Lord. Oh and get this. I do everything Gary needs no complaining nothing, i get here whenever he needs me and he told me id have a raise. Well my paycheck came and gone and yeaaa no raise. But then the new guy comes in and he gets the same pay as me. REALLY??? REALLY?? wow. yea well Gary better be in for a rude awakening when fall school starts yea im not workin. I told him last spring that I was takin a semester off from work, and I mean it. I have my whole life to work, I dont want to work while im goin to school. I have plenty of money saved up and I can pick up odd jobs here and there to do if I need to. Im so PISSED! wow.

Here we go again...

I knew better... I don't understand why guys have to be such JERKS. Like really is it that hard for you to be a man and own up to your frickin immaturity.

But then again I feel like it was my problem. I guess I fell for something that would never happen. Can you really blame me though, I mean come on! You frickin talked to my dad about us gettin married, WTF!? Yea we may not have dated so I shouldn't really have any shit to complain about but the signs you gave me and the way you acted sure made me believe we were a lil closer than friends. And then for you to think its okay that you made a MISTAKE... oh wow. yeaa well I guess it's better this way. Just like it was before. You live your live and I live mine. DON'T you even think that I'd like anything more cause after all this shit you'll be lucky if I even look at you. I swear I am so pissed. You talked to me for months and then nothing. Right before I leave the country for a month you care though and then I come back and once again, nothing. WOW, you've got some balls or should I say lack there of.

And guys wonder why girls have trust issues. It sure is hard to trust after you did once and got screwed from hell. damn. Yea well what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? hahah the real knight in shining armor is gunna have a real good time gettin me to trust him and actually believe what he says.

Whatever. I'm over it. Thank God I don't ever have to see him but only on special occasions. That's a relief.