All kinds of emotions

Rambling blog time

I have been goin through all kinds emotions. Sad, happy, trapped, free... I am happy that I have an amazing opportunity to start over, in a sense, but then again I don't know anyone out here yet so I wish I still had my friends to hang out with, somebody to just chill out with and have fun. I know it takes some time to get to know people and once I start school hopefully things will work out a lil better too. I guess I'm kinda ready for life to begin, lol. I hope to be gettin a job soon so that will help. Skype is my best friend right now, lol I've been able to keep in touch with some of my friends which has been nice. oh and of course Gilmore Girls keeps me goin lol. LIFE! UGH! lol what the hell is really goin on? I just wanna be happy with life now, I don't wanna keep thinkin that life is gunna get better or things are gunna be different once I get something I don't have now. I need to chill out and take things one day at a time. God is here and I just need to let go of things, but it's so hard for me. I feel that if I just hold on a lil tighter then things wont be so bad, but really I need to let go. I have problems lettin go. I don't think its really hit me that I am thousands of miles away from my friends... I love it but then again every now and then I wonder why the hell I'm here? I know God has a plan but I really wish I knew what was in it... I don't know whats goin on. I don't like how I don't know what my next step is. like I don't have a long term plan, as of right now I'm just here. I know that I'm supposed to be finding out who I am in Christ and stuff but I feel like that findin who I am in Christ doesn't come by goin to counseling and reading books, its by living life and trusting Him in every step. (On a side note, I do enjoy singing and I kinda wish I could just go somewhere and sing all day long) I think I need to calm down and relax, I need to enjoy this time and just trust God, even though I'm goin a tad insane just trusting... lol I am goin to have a positive attitude about stuff and things will get better. :)