My sister is pretty smart

So to catch you up, I’ve had 3 dreams since I’ve been home about Pete and me. Him saying that he’s sorry and that he isn’t happy with his gf and then we get back together. It’s really thrown me off because I haven’t thought about him at all since I’ve written the letter, at least not Reno. It always seems to hit me hard when I come home. My heart wants to just forgive him and allow God to deal with him while my flesh wants him to hurt and feel the same pain I had. So while trying to figure out why I’m dreaming about him and crap I talked to my sister about it.

She has been reading this book called “Captivated” and she shared something that really makes since and has given me some perspective and insight on my problem. She said that I should forgive him but by forgiving him that would mean I would be allowing God to fight for me on my behalf and through that God would heal my heart. When she first said it I didn’t really understand but on my LONG car ride up to Onething, it really makes sense.

I also think that I’m ready for God to heal my heart and be my fighter, even as much as I love being a fighter for Christ, I think this time imma sit out. I see this as a great opportunity to trust God, believe Him that he can do anything and a chance to grow my faith overall. I don’t want to keep dealing with this. I do want God to heal my heart and I don’t want to hate him. I want to love him as the brother in Christ that he is.

Last thought: the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto to you. 

Arg...

Been home for a couple days now andddd I haven't stopped. I've been to denham or baton rouge every day once if not both in one day. Im layin around the house today relaxing and enjoying not having any responsibilities. I have to find a job when I get back to Reno, so I don't have many lazy days left.

There's only one problem being lazy... I tend to think bout things anddddd right now I can't get the boy of my mind. :-/     WHYY??!?!?!? Ugh. I need to chill and just let God do His thing but it's getting hard to just wait around. I just wish I knew a definite answer then I wouldn't even have to worry then, I'd just know. Then if I have to wait I can cause I'd know that in the end I still get the boy and if it's a no then I can move on and worry bout other things in life rather than worry bout something that is never gunna come about.I guess that's part of trusting God though, not knowing whats coming up next but believing everything is going to be alright.


The one word I have to keep reminding myself is to be PATIENT.

I just need some time

Sometimes I really hate that woman have emotions. I hate that we can't just live life without creating drama for ourselves. Why do we have to be attracted to men all the time? I just wanna live where I don't think about a guy. It's annoying! Not only do we constantly think about the "What if's" and possible future together, but we also freak out if things don't happen. We begin to over analyze stuff that really doesn't even need to be analyzed in the first place. Is it impossible to just not be attracted to a guy and just live life? Then again if we are attracted to someone why can't we just enjoy being friends, get to know each other and don't worry about time. Patience and letting the guy lead is hard. I would much rather be the one to lead, but then I would run the relationship and that's not what I want. I don't get it. I just don't wanna think about it. I just want to live life and then when things are supposed to happen it just happens. I don't want things to be drawn out. Time complicates things, it allows for over analyzing, doubt, and confusion. I'm really irritated with this whole situation.  I think I can truly say this is one of the MOST irritating things that have happened to me in my life. Arg!

My Best Friend

I'm not exactly how to start this one off. This girl and I haven't known each other for a super long time but the time we have known each other has been so special, incredible, and blessed.

She and I have such similar backgrounds with family, the way we were raised, and with the way we viewed ourselves. I think back to when we became super close and I can't really pin point it. I just know that we've become BEST FRIENDS after I left. She was the only friend from back home that kept in touch with me. I don't know what I would do without her. She has encouraged me in so many ways. She has been there for me when I didn't think the sun would ever shine again, and when the sun couldn't shine bright enough.

I am so lucky that God has placed her in my life, especially at this time in my life. She's amazing and the BEST friend I could have ever asked for or imagined. I love her and will love her for life because not only is she my best friend but she is also my sister in Christ.

My family just got bigger

Shout out to my oldest sister, Allison. She just had her first child, a baby boy. Liam Micah Overmon. He's another addition to our family.

I am so thankful for my church family, here in Reno and back home in Louisiana. My pastor from my current church came up to me on Sunday and wanted to make sure I wasn't leaving anytime soon because Reno is home now. It was nice to hear from the pastor that he enjoyed me being there and also didn't want me to go anywhere. I'm glad to know I'm welcomed at the church (not that I wasn't before).

Also when I visited my church back home, my pastor did an illustration where he showed how we as a body of the church is protected if we stick together. He lined up the church by groups children, young adults, mothers and older women, and then the men. He said that we would be protected from the attack of the enemy as a church body because the enemy would have to go through the men, the women, the young adults and then the children.

Im happy, so thankful, and extremely blessed to have two church families.

Thanks Daddy

So today was my last day in vocal performance class. THANK JESUS! I now hate french because of the last song I had to learn. It's okay I think Spanish is a sexy language anyway.

Well today after I had finished my class I called my daddy to let him know how I did. I told him it wasn't the worst I had ever done but it wasn't the best either. It was good enough to get a good grade in the class though so I was pleased. I continued on about how I never wanted to take a class like that again and how it wasn't helpful. All I did was learn a song and then sing it; no feedback, no teaching, no nothing. I was so confused of why I even wanted to take that class at the beginning of the semester.

Then my loving, and wonderful father let me know how it helped me get back into singing again. If I hadn't had to sing in front of people and overcome some fears and learn how to trust God, I wouldn't be prepared to worship Him without trying to perform. My dad reminded me of what my purpose is when I sing, for Kingdom glory, not worldly advancement.

I'm so thankful that my dad and I have such a great relationship. I sometimes wonder what I would do without him. He really is the greatest dad ever. I love him so much and I'm proud to be his daughter.