So today I finally spoke out loud that I was mad at God. I was so mad at him for so many different things, some I never said aloud and others that bothered me. One of the biggest reasons was over Pete. Im not gunna lie, he told me he was “feeling that God was leading him” toward another girl, it didn’t really begin to bother me til bout a week later. I guess I was in shock but now im really hurt. He probably hurt me the most over any other guy. I apparently allowed myself to go to far with my feelings, but partly because I had talked to my dad and he was okay with things. I really trusted my dad and therefore trusted Pete. I don’t really know what to think anymore, but I know dad did talk to him and from the expression on my moms face, I don’t think my dad held back anything that needed to be said.
After I actually said out loud that I was mad at God then I immediately broke down in tears in front of everyone, kinda sucked. Oh well I got it out and felt a whole lot better, especially after mrs joy prayed for me. So im doin better now but Im still workin through some stuff here and there.
I know how your are feeling. I also let my guard down with John, because I thought he could be trusted... This has just taught be to be extra cautious. If I ever get giddy over a guy, slap me!
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