Family

I feel like I repeat myself alot on my blog. I feel like I write about the same stuff over and over again with just a lil different take on things. Lame.

Meh. I only have a few more days before thanksgiving break!! :D I am pumped to be back home around my family for a few days. It's funny cause I never thought I would be happy to go back to LA but since my parents and I can actually have conversations I do wanna talk with them and let them hear my heart. I can trust that they wont hurt me when I open up to them about my life and whats goin on. I love my parents.

Can I just say that my grandma is awesome? I don't really know her that well sadly, but she has sent me two text messages this past week about jobs. She said that they miss me desperately and want me to move back home. It warmed my heart to see she still cares even though she and I don't really have a relationship.

I can't really dwell on the fact that I don't know my grandparents that much otherwise I begin to lose it and start crying and what not, lol. I am really upset that I never got to grow up with my grandparents. I feel so rob from knowing them and spending time with them. Some of my favorite memories are from spending time with my grandparents. At Christmas and thanksgiving we would always go to my grandparents house and have a big lunch even though with all our families we barely fit. I always loved that my grandpa would make a skittle sandwich, have little debbie cakes mid morning, and a bite of pecan log right before bed. I hate that I am the age to start my own family and I feel like I barely know my own family. As a little girl that was what meant the most to me, family. I was always so proud that my family didn't have problems, we were a happy family. Then all hell broke lose and that dream shattered. Praise Jesus my family is put back together and still coming back together but it still has it's scars. All I pray for now is that by the time I get married our family will be put back enough that I can have all of my siblings there with their families without drama.

On a different note, I need to get back to being productive, lol. I need to work out, read, and stitch and stuff. I always feel so much better after I actually do stuff that needs to be done and I always feel better after I work out, I just cant actually get myself to work out....arg. lol Although, as much as I hate waking up for 6ams, I do feel like I get more done when I get up earlier and besides if I go to bed earlier and wake up earlier my life is less drama-filled because I go to bed before it even starts :) I am proud that I can say I am 21 and can wake up at 4:30 in the morning.